Joke of the day

[eljay]

Two kids are in a hospital lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was 4. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you in here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."

 

[Deviate]

Cats will always be a**holes

 

[westcoastGT]

Cats will always be a**holes

toooo many gummies !!

 

[Flameangel]

This is no joke, it’s everyday life ….

 

[Flameangel]

The future ….. let’s hope they build the Electric charging Stations with a roof and not in flood prone areas

 

[eljay]

A guy has hemorrhoids. His doctor prescribes suppositories, saying that they should give him immediate relief. He doesn't know what a suppository is, so he chokes them down with a glass of water. Two days later, there's no improvement, and he's hopping mad. He calls the doctor and says, "Doc, for all the good these things are doing, I might as well be shoving them up my butt!"

 

[Flameangel]

We made the top 3 , whoop, whoop

 

[OliverNuther]

 

[eljay]

An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery. The Englishman says to the Irishman, "Hey, watch this," at which point he walks up to the counter when the baker's back is turned and steals three buns, putting them in his pockets.

When he returns to the back of the shop, he says, "Did you see that? It took a lot of skill and guile to pull that off." The Irishman replies, "That's nothing but common thievery. I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."

The Irishman then walks up to the baker and says, "Excuse me sir. Would you care to see a magic trick?" The baker nods and the Irishman then asks for one of his buns. He proceeds to eat it and then asks for two more, eating them as well.

The baker then says, "OK son, so where's the magic trick?" to which the Irishman replies, "Look in the Englishman's pockets."

 

[Ozstung]

Let me defend the Englishman he's already eaten them as he was a gluten.

 

[Buzzrush]

An Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bakery. The Englishman says to the Irishman, "Hey, watch this," at which point he walks up to the counter when the baker's back is turned and steals three buns, putting them in his pockets.

When he returns to the back of the shop, he says, "Did you see that? It took a lot of skill and guile to pull that off." The Irishman replies, "That's nothing but common thievery. I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."

The Irishman then walks up to the baker and says, "Excuse me sir. Would you care to see a magic trick?" The baker nods and the Irishman then asks for one of his buns. He proceeds to eat it and then asks for two more, eating them as well.

The baker then says, "OK son, so where's the magic trick?" to which the Irishman replies, "Look in the Englishman's pockets."

That’s a crumby thing to do….

 

[Ozstung]

That’s a crumby thing to do….

Buns not Puns.

 

[westcoastGT]

that's the yeast of your worries !

 

[RedCal]

Are you guys trying to get a rise out of people?

 

[eljay]

OK, enough of the half-baked puns!

 

[Buzzrush]

OK, enough of the half-baked puns!

It’s the yeast we could do…

 

[westcoastGT]

what a half baked thread this has turned into !

 

[Floridaman]

what a half baked thread this has turned into !

Yeah. Starting to leave a bad taste. It's getting mold.

 

[Ozstung]

This is making me Hot and Cross.

 

[byebyeSTI]

here's a good joke

Kia dealer techs are really good at working on stingers