Joke of the day
- Thread starter Ozstung
- Start date
Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
Yes highly illogical Captain.
SIMONGUEY
Stinger Enthusiast
i got my first ticket two weekends ago lol. im still not sure what to do lol
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Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
eljay
1000 Posts Club!
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where they'd be taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
"What was the name of the instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man.
He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"
"What was the name of the instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man.
He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"
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Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
I had my first ticket a while back, done by a mobile speed camera, I do try and be careful but this car accelerates so fast and easy , you’re doing 130kms before you know it
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
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Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
This should make up for the last no show effort.
Subject: FW: Side effects?
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
I have some good news and some bad news”, the surgeon tells him.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm”!
Oh God no”!, the man cries, “My golfing is over! Please Doc., what’s the good news”?
Well, the good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant”.
“Go for it doc.”, he pleads, “as long as I can play golf again”.
The operation went well and a year later, the man was out on the golf course, when he bumped into the surgeon.
“Hi, how’s the new arm”? The surgeon asks. “Just great”, the golfer replies, “I’m playing the best golf of my life.
My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved”.
“That’s great”, said the surgeon.
“Not only that”, the golfer went on, “my handwriting has improved”.
I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes, and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in water colours”.
“That’s unbelievable!”, the surgeon said. “I’m glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.
Are you having any side effects”?
“Well, just two really”!!! The golfer told him. “I have trouble reversing, parallel parking, and every time I have an erection I get a headache.
Subject: FW: Side effects?
A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
I have some good news and some bad news”, the surgeon tells him.
“The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm”!
Oh God no”!, the man cries, “My golfing is over! Please Doc., what’s the good news”?
Well, the good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant”.
“Go for it doc.”, he pleads, “as long as I can play golf again”.
The operation went well and a year later, the man was out on the golf course, when he bumped into the surgeon.
“Hi, how’s the new arm”? The surgeon asks. “Just great”, the golfer replies, “I’m playing the best golf of my life.
My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved”.
“That’s great”, said the surgeon.
“Not only that”, the golfer went on, “my handwriting has improved”.
I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes, and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in water colours”.
“That’s unbelievable!”, the surgeon said. “I’m glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.
Are you having any side effects”?
“Well, just two really”!!! The golfer told him. “I have trouble reversing, parallel parking, and every time I have an erection I get a headache.
Paladin611
Active Member
Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
ShannonC
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Where can I get one?
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eljay
1000 Posts Club!
A woman went into the pharmacy and calmly said to the pharmacist “'I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
“I need it to poison my husband.”
“I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail! Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!
The woman reached into her purse and pulled out pictures of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the pictures, paused a moment, and replied, “Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
“I need it to poison my husband.”
“I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail! Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!
The woman reached into her purse and pulled out pictures of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the pictures, paused a moment, and replied, “Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.”
ShannonC
2500 Posts Club!
- Joined
- May 8, 2018
- Messages
- 2,701
- Reaction score
- 1,905
- Points
- 118
- Location
- North Parramatta, Sydney, Australia
Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
