Joke of the day
- Thread starter Ozstung
- Start date
Deviate
1000 Posts Club!
Liltte help with badge changes
www.instagram.com
Majestic Motors on Instagram: "You’re welcome Tag Your Friends & Follow @cooler.cars For More Like This! • Credit: albertjurkowski/tt • #jdmlove #jdmlovers #modifiedcars #jdmlifestyle #mk4supra #supraturbo #supranation #supraculture #toyotasupra #jdm
398K likes, 2,465 comments - majestic.motorss on May 31, 2021: "You’re welcome Tag Your Friends & Follow @cooler.cars For More Like This! • Credit: albertjurkowski/tt • #jdmlove #jdmlovers #modifiedcars #jdmlifestyle #mk4supra #supraturbo #supranation #supraculture #toyotasupra #jdmclassic...
www.instagram.com
ShannonC
2500 Posts Club!
- Joined
- May 8, 2018
- Messages
- 2,701
- Reaction score
- 1,905
- Points
- 118
- Location
- North Parramatta, Sydney, Australia
______________________________
Deviate
1000 Posts Club!
Ozstung
5000 Posts Club!
Subject: FW: Tequila
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the
counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in
it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the
money in the jar?"
"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks,
"What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds
or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad
tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 - but I'm not an idiot!
I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila
and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks - but he doesn't make a face - and
he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull
chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud
growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight - then
nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he
staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds
and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with
the bad tooth?"
A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the
counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in
it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the
money in the jar?"
"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks,
"What are the three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds
or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad
tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had sex. You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 - but I'm not an idiot!
I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila
and then do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks - but he doesn't make a face - and
he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull
chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud
growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight - then
nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he
staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds
and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.
He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with
the bad tooth?"
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
eljay
1000 Posts Club!
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she's 27 years old, a tall blue-eyed redhead, buxom, long-legged, wearing a halter crop top and short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the old guy replies, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
"Well, she's 27 years old, a tall blue-eyed redhead, buxom, long-legged, wearing a halter crop top and short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the old guy replies, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
MerlintheMad
10000 Posts Club!
______________________________
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
______________________________
OliverNuther
1000 Posts Club!
Today I achieved 100 days alcohol free.
Okay, so they weren’t all in a row but it’s still pretty impressive I think.
Okay, so they weren’t all in a row but it’s still pretty impressive I think.
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
