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Deviate

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Venice, Florida
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Deviate

Active Member
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68
Venice, Florida
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Ozstung

5000 Posts Club!
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Western Sydney.
Subject: FW: Tequila

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the
counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in
it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the

money in the jar?"


"Well...,
you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the

money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."


The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks,

"What are the three tests?"

"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10

which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds

or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."



"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad
tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."




"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never
had sex. You have to take care of that problem."



The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 - but I'm not an idiot!

I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila

and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,

"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.

Tears stream down both cheeks - but he doesn't make a face - and

he drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull

chained to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud

growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight - then

nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he

staggers back into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds

and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.

He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with
the bad tooth?"
 

eljay

Stinger Enthusiast
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SoCal
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

"Well, she's 27 years old, a tall blue-eyed redhead, buxom, long-legged, wearing a halter crop top and short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

To which the old guy replies, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."
 

MerlintheMad

Sustaining Member
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West Jordan, Y00TAW
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