Joke of the day

Flameangel · May 10, 2020

View attachment 41672 @Ozstung, you did one for the boys, here's one for the girls. It's sooo wrong on so many levels

View attachment 41672 Don't know what went wrong here but I'm referring to pic below......

Flameangel · May 10, 2020

westcoastGT · May 10, 2020

Flameangel said:
View attachment 41673

wrong , wrong ,wrong ......................in so many ways !!

MerlintheMad · May 10, 2020

westcoastGT said:
never a fowl word

"Two seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliff". I agree, he never used foul language, a true gentleman (who reputedly was a difficult boss to work with/for; temper, if I recall correctly; I think it was probably that he didn't suffer fools gladly, which is ironic since he played the fool for a living).

Ozstung · May 14, 2020

Hockster · May 14, 2020

Gargamel · May 16, 2020

Gargamel · May 16, 2020

Not for the faint hearted.

Dont look..

.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Move along!

eljay · May 16, 2020

As a woman who reads, I couldn't resist posting this:

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a game warden. He pulls his boat alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?

" You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

" I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a
fine."

"For reading a book?"

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area."

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm just reading."

He repeats, "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."

" If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't touched you!"

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departs.

MORAL:

Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

OliverNuther · May 17, 2020

Here’s another one for the ladies.

A bloke comes home from work and is aghast at what he sees. Kids toys are strewn all over the driveway. The dog hasn’t been fed and is whining plaintively. The kids are still in their school uniforms and making mud pies in the front yard. Angrily, he storms into the house and finds the interior to be just as bad. Breakfast dishes are still on the table. Dirty washing is all over the floor and he can’t smell any dinner cooking. His wife is sitting on the couch, still in her nightie, sipping wine and watching Oprah.

“What the hell is going on here?”, he thunders.

His wife takes another sip and says calmly to him “ Well you know how you usually come home and ask me what the hell i’ve been doing with myself all day?”

“Yeah, so what” he says.

“Well today I didn’t do any of it!”