eflyguy
2500 Posts Club!
20 Years ago, didn't we still just call them "tights"?
Joke of the day
- Thread starter Ozstung
- Start date
OliverNuther
1000 Posts Club!
Over here I think ‘tights’ are more like stockings as opposed to the Lycra gym or yoga pants. Flame will know better than me. Flame? Help us out here.
Flameangel
2500 Posts Club!
Yep tights are all inclusive and cover toes, tights are thicker than stockings or pantyhose as we call them here.What Ollie is saying is right, gym and yoga pants are normally lycra and often three quarter legging type
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westcoastGT
5000 Posts Club!
always preferred the gals wearing garter belts and black stockings myself ........................maybe not at the gym 
Chark
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A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me 12 shots of your strongest whiskey!"
The bartender replies, "Sure. What's the occasion?"
The man says, "It's my first blowjob."
The bartender says, "That's surely worth celebrating. Congratulations!"
The man replies, "Oh, I'm not celebrating. If this doesn't get the taste out, nothing will..."
The bartender replies, "Sure. What's the occasion?"
The man says, "It's my first blowjob."
The bartender says, "That's surely worth celebrating. Congratulations!"
The man replies, "Oh, I'm not celebrating. If this doesn't get the taste out, nothing will..."
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
westcoastGT
5000 Posts Club!
Whats the best defense if you get attacked by a bunch of Circus Clowns ? ...............................Go for the Juggler !
Dom
Active Member
An 8 year old girl went to the office with her dad on 'Take your Kid to Work Day'.
As they were walking around the office the little girl started crying and getting very cranky. Her father asked her what was wrong.
As the staff gathered round, she sobbed loudly:
''Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?''
As they were walking around the office the little girl started crying and getting very cranky. Her father asked her what was wrong.
As the staff gathered round, she sobbed loudly:
''Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?''
OliverNuther
1000 Posts Club!
2 blokes are hiking across the African plains when a lion suddenly appears and starts chasing them. Terrified, they are running for their lives when one of them suddenly stops, pulls a pair of Nike runners from his backpack and starts unlacing his hiking boots. His mate sees what he’s doing and calls out ‘ don’t be stupid, Nike’s won’t help you outrun a lion.’ First guy calls back ‘ I only have to outrun you mate!’
Manaz
1000 Posts Club!
500g weight loss.
______________________________
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
Manaz
1000 Posts Club!
aka mumblers.
Dom
Active Member
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home all the signs were there.
Manaz
1000 Posts Club!
A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?' She replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?............ 'A Rectum Stretcher!' 'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge...'
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?' She replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?............ 'A Rectum Stretcher!' 'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot arsehole?' he asked.
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge...'
Christopher Léger
Active Member
Got no wife, anyone wanna give it a try lol
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I dont know what to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the front door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, 'WHO'S IN THE MOOD'?????!!!!! And she acts like shes sound asleep. It works every time!"
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I dont know what to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the front door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, 'WHO'S IN THE MOOD'?????!!!!! And she acts like shes sound asleep. It works every time!"
OliverNuther
1000 Posts Club!
The same 2 guys are playing golf one day. The first guy says to his mate : ‘I don’t know how you get a leave pass to play every Saturday without the wife nagging at you. I’ve only got to look at my clubs and the wife trots out a list of jobs I should be doing instead of playing golf. What’s your secret?’
The second guy says ‘Well when I wake up I slap the wife on the bum and say What’s it going to be love? Golf course or intercourse? And she can’t get me out of the house quick enough!’
The second guy says ‘Well when I wake up I slap the wife on the bum and say What’s it going to be love? Golf course or intercourse? And she can’t get me out of the house quick enough!’
From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
eflyguy
2500 Posts Club!
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do"
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"Holy ****" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?"... The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do"
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"Holy ****" thought the father, "this kid is in contact with the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late. What's the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"
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celwin
Active Member
Proof that Men Have Better Friends...
Friendship Among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship Among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
Friendship Among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship Among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
AV8R
5000 Posts Club!
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Three rings in life...
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
Suffer ring!
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
Suffer ring!
AV8R
5000 Posts Club!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2017
- Messages
- 7,325
- Reaction score
- 2,051
- Points
- 118
- Location
- Perth, Western Australia
I may add my marriage is pretty good after 12 years! Lol
MerlintheMad
10000 Posts Club!
Try 42.
(that's supposed to be the answer to the question "What is the secret to life, the universe and everything", too; but I am not seeing it) From interior to exterior to high performance - everything you need for your Stinger awaits you...
