FINAL update.
I got the Xpel on the headlamp replaced, there's a small 3 inch scratch under it but minor blem considering the impact. The scratch on the fender I carefully put some clearcoat in and called it a day. It's noticeable but the cost/inconvenience getting it repaired outweighs my need to fix it.
Now for the good part of the update, I sent the paving company a completed incident form they provided me and also a letter that basically demanded the out of pocket costs for the Xpel, clear coat touchup paint, and $500 for diminished value in lieu of me getting full/proper repair estimates to get the headlamp and fender professionally repaired. The key IMO was giving them 30 days to reply with an answer before I would go to small claims. Leaving timelines open ended is a recipe for disaster. The tone of the letter was direct and specific.
They promptly emailed saying they agreed to the terms (about $596), to get the attached waiver and terms notarized. Sent this back certified mail and got my check 3 weeks later. They save money, I save inconvenience. IMO I did fine with this outcome.
Figure it might be helpful to someone out there how to handle things. Most might have caved or gone through their insurance, etc. A little "f%&@ around, find out" never hurts. And, AGAIN, the
dashcam made all the difference here. I had everything I needed to get whatever outcome I wanted from this situation because of it. And ONLY because of it. If you don't have one, get one. If you drive like an ahole and don't want one for that reason, stop driving like an ahole and get one.