Joke of the day

[Ozstung]

No hillbilly watching tv for this Rooster.

 

[Legendsk]

Beverly Hillbillys is the modern version of course. I grew up as depicted in "Grapes of Wrath". The cast looked startlingly like my family, the house looked exactly like the one I was born in, {complete with dirt floor}, their truck looked just like ours. Jane Darwell (Mrs. Joad), was the spitting image of my grandmother. Not long ago I was looking at my oldest daughter and realized she looked just like grandma and Mrs. Joad. A bit scary. Those may have been the-good-old-days, but trust me, life is much better now.

 

[Hockster]

How thoughtful.

 

[Hockster]

 

[MerlintheMad]

Fred does not wear shoes!

 

[Hockster]

He does in winter. Fred's no dummy.

 

[RedCal]

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now,
so the stewardess gets the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

 

[eljay]

Father, to teen son: Son, sit down. I've got something serious to tell you. You're adopted.
Son: Really? I always knew it! I knew I couldn't really be related to losers like you and mom. I want to meet my real parents, my blood relations!
Father: Mom and I are your blood relations. Now go pack up your stuff; the people who adopted you will be here in an hour.

 

[MerlintheMad]

He does in winter. Fred's no dummy.

That's better than the original joke.

 

[Hockster]

 

[Hockster]

 

[westcoastGT]

View attachment 37258

personal experience ??

 

[Stinger GT SS]

I assume you have heard the story about the hitch hiker, but just in case you haven’t.
A guy driving on his own picked up a young hitchhiker and as they were driving down the road he told the driver he was game picking him up because how did he know he wasn't a Psychopathic Killer.
The driver replied, nah, what would the chances of there being two Psychopathic killers in one car at one time.

 

[Hockster]

personal experience ??

Close, 1800 rpm on a 15 liter Cummins. Wasn't me but a potential new hire. Spoiler: he didn't get the job lol

 

[Hockster]

 

[white03]

State trooper pulls over a guy for speeding. Tells the guy if he can give him an excuse that he has not heard then he can go free. The guy explained he is divorced. Trooper says he sorry but that;s not a good reason for speeding. Guy says his ex-wife ran away with a state trooper. Trooper say some of his brother officers are not so nice, but that's still not a good reason for speeding. Guy says he was afraid the trooper was bringing his wife back! Trooper let him go free.

 

[Hockster]

 

[Ozstung]

View attachment 37794

Does that still apply at the crematorium? Theyre known for their mean burn outs.

 

[Flameangel]

Cremation isn't free, you gotta Urn it.

I'm thinking of getting cremated when I kick the bucket because it's my last chance to get a " Smokin, Hot Body "

 

[Hockster]

edit: posted in wrong thread lol