Joke of the day

[westcoastGT]

....W.T.!

C'mon mate , it made you laugh out loud right ? As a kid I remember seeing my dad would watch this show and howl with laughter.......................did it make it down there ??.............Jackie Gleason and Art Carney were the primary characters .....................

 

[Stinger GT SS]

C'mon mate , it made you laugh out loud right ? As a kid I remember seeing my dad would watch this show and howl with laughter.......................did it make it down there ??.............Jackie Gleason and Art Carney were the primary characters .....................

Yep we got it down here, watched it as a kid & it was funny, my old man also loved Jackie Gleason.
Did you get Benny Hill

 

[westcoastGT]

Yep we got it down here, watched it as a kid & it was funny, my old man also loved Jackie Gleason.
Did you get Benny Hill

Yup , Canada , loves humour especially laughing at ourselves !

 

[ibmaxx]

Back on track perhaps with a Kia joke-

A lady walks into a Kia dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Stinger and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to admire the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if just inspecting it makes you fart, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

 

[Ozstung]

C'mon mate , it made you laugh out loud right ? As a kid I remember seeing my dad would watch this show and howl with laughter.......................did it make it down there ??.............Jackie Gleason and Art Carney were the primary characters .....................

Not seen it before but then again It probably didn't make it over to "old blighty" where I grew up.

 

[Flameangel]

WHO IS JACK SHIT ?

For some time, many of us have wondered who is " Jack Shit ?"
We find ourselves at a loss when someones says, " You don't know Jack Shit " well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O shit, the owners of Knee Deep in Shit Inc.
In turn Jack Shit married No Shit. The couple had 6 children; Holy Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, & the twins Deep Shit & Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a school drop out. After 15 years, Jack & No Shit got divorced & she married Ted Sherlock & became No Shit Sherlock.
Mean while, Dip Shit married Shit-Happens.
Bull Shit travelled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit.
So tell me now you don't know Jack Shit.

 

[MerlintheMad]

What a shitty joke. Hah.

WHO IS JACK SHIT ?

For some time, many of have wondered who is " Jack Shit ?"
We find ourselves at a loss when someones says, " You don't know Jack Shit " well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O shit, the owners of Knee Deep in Shit Inc.
In turn Jack Shit married No Shit. The couple had 6 children; Holy Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, & the twins Deep Shit & Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a school drop out. After 15 years, Jack & No Shit got divorced & she married Ted Sherlock & became No Shit Sherlock.
Mean while, Dip Shit married Shit-Happens.
Bull Shit travelled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit.
So tell me now you don't know Jack Shit.

 

[ibmaxx]

That good old 'shit' word is used in a lot of jokes like this one-

A New Zealand footballer came to Australia to play football.
When he arrived, he was told to go and see the State Team Captain.
Captain asked the Kiwi if he was any good on the field.
"Shit, yeah!" replied the Kiwi.
"Okay," said Captain. "We'll give you a run in the first
half and pull you off at half time."
"Shit, that's different." Said the Kiwi. "We only get
oranges at half time in New Zealand!"

 

[Ozstung]

WHO IS JACK SHIT ?

For some time, many of have wondered who is " Jack Shit ?"
We find ourselves at a loss when someones says, " You don't know Jack Shit " well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O shit, the owners of Knee Deep in Shit Inc.
In turn Jack Shit married No Shit. The couple had 6 children; Holy Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, & the twins Deep Shit & Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a school drop out. After 15 years, Jack & No Shit got divorced & she married Ted Sherlock & became No Shit Sherlock.
Mean while, Dip Shit married Shit-Happens.
Bull Shit travelled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit.
So tell me now you don't know Jack Shit.

That's good shit lol.

 

[westcoastGT]

 

[Coast GT]

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Is that Trump? Sums up how the rest of the world feels about him. Basically just give you the shits

 

[OliverNuther]

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Never seen anyone colour match their pants to their hair before.....

 

[Ozstung]

That looks like Long John Daily before he blew out.
......or perhaps after he blew out..

 

[Hockster]

RIP...

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound, financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student purchases a condom from the restroom vending machine or when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became passive and unloving, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

So, Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee is HOT, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by a stepbrother, My Rights; and a stepsister, Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.



Good bye old friend....

 

[westcoastGT]

That looks like Long John Daily before he blew out.
......or perhaps after he blew out..

close , but look at the name on the jacket beside him ............TRU-P !!! Shitty day on his $118 million golf day

 

[Hockster]

 

[westcoastGT]

View attachment 35697

MDGA .............................make diapers great again !!

 

[Hockster]

 

[Hockster]

 

[eljay]

View attachment 36863

That is a bunch of total baaaaaaadasses!