Holy Bat S#%t

[Manaz]

Let's not go near the New Zealander jokes. We'll be here all week - and upset our kiwi friends

 

[Stinger GT SS]

What ? Sheep Shaggers ?

 

[Ozstung]

batman did visit oz once, inflatable beach toys weren't his thing.

 

[ShannonC]

Also stools will be black if you take iron tablets

Does it come in gloss or matt?

 

[Ozstung]

Does it come in gloss or matt?

I believe either stench or super stench.

 

[GenesisG70]

There are very few breeds of bats that actually eat blood.

Trust me that bat did EAT a fing load of a blood meal otherwise it's feces wouldn't be jet black.

 

[MerlintheMad]

We don't worry about rats here - the redback spiders kill the rats.

Thankfully, Australia has managed to remain rabies free. Along with the boars, we have wild horses (brumbies), and I believe we still have the largest number of wild camels (and only wild dromedary camels) in the world - we actually export them to the middle east! We used to have the most sheep of any country in the world, but China overtook us there a while ago. NZ as a country has the most sheep per person, which is why the kiwis have a poorly-deserved reputation.

You've forgotten the sharks in the southern oceans, and the crocs in the north (no worrying about sharks up north - the crocs ate all the sharks up there). The Tasie Devils, the Tassie Tigers, the map of Tasmania...

And the dropbears.

Drop Bear
https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2013/04/drop-bears-target-tourists-study-says/

Do not forget the dropbears - they certainly won't forget you...

All we have around here are jackalopes. Like I said, Aus has creatures out to get humans. We can't compare. Thankfully.

 

[Flameangel]

All we have around here are jackalopes. Like I said, Aus has creatures out to get humans. We can't compare. Thankfully.

What are Jackalopes ?

 

[Flameangel]

We don't worry about rats here - the redback spiders kill the rats.

Thankfully, Australia has managed to remain rabies free. Along with the boars, we have wild horses (brumbies), and I believe we still have the largest number of wild camels (and only wild dromedary camels) in the world - we actually export them to the middle east! We used to have the most sheep of any country in the world, but China overtook us there a while ago. NZ as a country has the most sheep per person, which is why the kiwis have a poorly-deserved reputation.

You've forgotten the sharks in the southern oceans, and the crocs in the north (no worrying about sharks up north - the crocs ate all the sharks up there). The Tasie Devils, the Tassie Tigers, the map of Tasmania...

And the dropbears.

Drop Bear
https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2013/04/drop-bears-target-tourists-study-says/

Do not forget the dropbears - they certainly won't forget you...

Not forgetting the feral cats, foxes, Dingoes, Goats, Donkeys and Deer

 

[eljay]

What are Jackalopes ?

Native to Wyoming; rare and endangered.

 

[MerlintheMad]

The biggest jackalope trophy I ever saw (and being rare, I have only seen maybe three over the years), was a stuffed head with antlers c. 14" across. Impressive. It was in an archery shop. I asked about it, and that was when I got my "education".

 

[Coast GT]

Trust me that bat did EAT a fing load of a blood meal otherwise it's feces wouldn't be jet black.

It’s not Transylvania, it’s Australia, they’re native Australian fruit bats. They eat fruit. My parent’s neighbour has a peach tree, every night those bloody bats come and feast on them and every morning our cars are covered in patches of dark black cement like bat shit that smells like some cheap old wine. It’s hell on your paint. Thankfully the paint protection on my Stinger makes it come off easier than it ever did on my previous car.

They don’t eat blood meals, they won’t suck on your neck, and they won’t turn into Dracula or one of those weirdos from the twilight series

 

[AV8R]

Trust me that bat did EAT a fing load of a blood meal otherwise it's feces wouldn't be jet black.

Ok firstly we don’t have giant vampire bats in Australia so the only bats that would poop like that would have to be gigantic vampire bats. The ones we have here are very tiny. The flying fox or fruit bat is prolific on the east coast of Australia and they ARE big. Their poop IS black and when it hits your car it looks like massive paint ball splashes.
All Australians know that, trust me.
Google it to confirm.

 

[OliverNuther]

But in keeping with the theme that everything in Australia wants to kill you, bats carry the Lyssavirus which has caused fatalities here. So Australian bats will indeed kill you just not by exsanguination.

Oh and its extremely possible that people have dropped dead from heart attacks or stroke when they’ve discovered their cars covered in batshit but these details aren’t recorded officially.

 

[Stinger GT SS]

But in keeping with the theme that everything in Australia wants to kill you, bats carry the Lyssavirus which has caused fatalities here. So Australian bats will indeed kill you just not by exsanguination.

Oh and its extremely possible that people have dropped dead from heart attacks or stroke when they’ve discovered their cars covered in batshit but these details aren’t recorded officially.

Well your right, this was just after I cleaned it off, but you can all relax I’m better now.

 

[Flameangel]

Well your right, this was just after I cleaned it off, but you can all relax I’m better now.
View attachment 27107

Good to hear, how's your throat after being unhooked from the ventilator via your tracheostomy ? nice to know your'e standing strong after that terrible bat shit shock

 

[AV8R]

Well your right, this was just after I cleaned it off, but you can all relax I’m better now.
View attachment 27107

You have grown breasts recently? Lol

 

[GenesisG70]

3 pages full of talk about bat shit. LOL

 

[Ozstung]

3 pages full of talk about bat shit. LOL

C'mon Doc chime in you a learned man.

Many years ago I got a random phone call from what I thought was a friend pulling my leg. He started telling me it was a community announcement regarding the dangers of bats. He asked me if I found an injured fruit bat whether I would pick it up and take it to get assistance etc. I said probably he said "No". He told me a great number of fruit bats carried a virus/disease that if caught caused the brain to swell and is lethal. It can be caused by a simple scratch or bite from a bat.

I've since taken the netting down from my fruit trees. The nectarine tree gets decimated every year.

For a while I thought it was a friend playing a prank call on me. But he told me it was a random call and to spread the message.

Now truthfully our snails can also give you that virus, but that's a story for another day.

 

[Stinger GT SS]

You have grown breasts recently? Lol

Had man boobs for years...lol