I'm a new stinger owner (2019) and I was looking forward to using the advanced cruise control for stop & go traffic. However it made me car sick immediately. The car waits until way too late to slow down and then practically slams on the brakes. I'm concerned about getting rear ended in addition to barfing.

At-speed cruise control seems to work fine, though I haven't used it much or on hills yet to notice the surging problem people are describing.
I'm sorry to hear about this. I have a question about the circumstances in which the car waits too long to slow down.
1. Does this happen every time?
2. Does the adaptive cruise control (ACC) show when it has acquired a car in front of you? If so, have you noticed whether the icon for the lead car is there in situations when the car waits too long and then has to put the brakes on hard?
I ask because with EyeSight in my 2015 Outback, if the Outback has not sensed (and displayed the icon for) a lead car in front of me, the Outback will also wait too long to slow down. The primary example of this case is on a 45 mph "Expressway" with traffic lights. If the ACC doesn't have a lead car detected, and at 45 mph, I come upon a group of stopped cars, EyeSight doesn't seem to detect the lead car. It might eventually, but so far I haven't had the nerve to wait and see, so I put on the brakes myself. If however my car *does* show a lead car (an icon on the adaptive cruise control display), then it will always slow down in plenty of time at a nice reasonably slow rate of deceleration.
When I test drove a 2018 Camry early this year, it seemed to have the same problem detecting a lead car, but the problem was made worse by the Camry because after acquiring a lead car, it would frequently lose it (because maybe it changed out of my lane), which in turn shut off the ACC (pressing "Resume" didn't seem to do anything - it was as if it had forgotten the last speed I had set). The Outback almost *never* loses the lead car once it has been acquired, so I'm a big fan of EyeSight. I'll repeat what I've said multiple times on this forum; EyeSight came out in around 2011 in the U.S. (I think) so they've been actively working to improve it for many years. On the other hand, some brands are only just now (or in the past year or two) had ACC so they are, as I would expect, behind in terms of refinement.