Joke of the day

[westcoastGT]

Got off night shifts yesterday, had really busy nights, one patient rang or his falls alarm went off and I had to go to him no less than 20 times, I'm going to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine tonight, maybe more and get " very happy " because that's what I feel like tonight

You go ! Girl !!

 

[Ozstung]

Got off night shifts yesterday, had really busy nights, one patient rang or his falls alarm went off and I had to go to him no less than 20 times, I'm going to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine tonight, maybe more and get " very happy " because that's what I feel like tonight

Your husband is far to demanding you need more control over him, threaten to hide the Ducati keys.

 

[Hockster]

 

[Nasscar]

Gawd I hope I never get to the ball licking or bum sniffing stage.

Uh oh. Too late.

 

[Flameangel]

I

Your husband is far to demanding you need more control over him, threaten to hide the Ducati keys.

If that was my husband, I'd more than take away the Ducati keys !

 

[Flameangel]

If you think this is just books on shelves .....look closer.....

 

[Flameangel]

 

[Hockster]

 

[Weareblondi]

birch tree and a beech tree are growing next to each other in the forest. one day, a sapling appears between them. an argument ensues over the years about whose sapling it is. that is a son of a beech, said the beech. no, its a son or a birch, said the birch. one day, a woodpecker appears and the two trees ask it to see whose sapling it was, a son of a beech or a son of a birch. woodpecker goes and pecks for a bit and comes back and says, it is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, but that is the finest piece of ash I ever poked in my life. bahahahahahahahahahaahahaha, man I kill me sometimes.

 

[MerlintheMad]

"I crack myself up", is another way of saying it. I knew where that was going after the first five words. (the problem with getting old and old jokes, you know)

 

[Ozstung]

birch tree and a beech tree are growing next to each other in the forest. one day, a sapling appears between them. an argument ensues over the years about whose sapling it is. that is a son of a beech, said the beech. no, its a son or a birch, said the birch. one day, a woodpecker appears and the two trees ask it to see whose sapling it was, a son of a beech or a son of a birch. woodpecker goes and pecks for a bit and comes back and says, it is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, but that is the finest piece of ash I ever poked in my life. bahahahahahahahahahaahahaha, man I kill me sometimes.

Sorry don't comprehend, is it a regional thing?

 

[Hockster]

 

[Ozstung]

 

[OliverNuther]

When I misbehaved as a youngster Mum used to threaten to slap me into next year. I might ask her if that offer is still available.......

 

[Flameangel]

These are the cutest subwoofers I have seen.

 

[moinmoin]

Jeremy Kreuzer got his family to participate in a parody of the Beach Boys' "Sloop John B" dedicated to his sister, a cruise performer, who's still stuck on the boat.

We were lucky to escape...

 

[Flameangel]

 

[Weareblondi]

just heard this one
local Costco already has a really long line of senior citizens formed up at 7:45 for an opening of 8:00 a.m. a young man comes walking up and cut the line. an 89 year old woman chased him back to the parking lot. a couple of minutes later, he tries to cut the line again, and a Korean war vet beats him up with all the seniors cheering him on. the young man gets up, all bloodied and bruised, and says, "look, if you old sh*ts don't let me open the front doors, ain't nobody going shopping today". bahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

 

[MerlintheMad]

I may take advantage of the "senior hour" tomorrow. A shopper lady told me that in the morning Costco actually has TP. We're running low.

 

[eljay]

Just recieved one of those "geezer mails" I used to roll my eyes at, wondering why people keep forwarding junk mail. Now they're kinda funny.